You Have Value
“What are your New Year's values?” Most people are confused by this question because we have been taught to focus on goals and not values.
Goals are achievements and once you reach them you're done. Sometimes goals are based on society's expectations and we might feel guilty if we don't perform. For instance, some common goals that we are taught from a young age are to get good grades, go to a good college, get a good job, etc. You might have noticed that reaching these goals wasn't as climatic as you had hoped for. Or you might have not reached some of these goals and think that you don't measure up somehow.
Values are your own personal guide to living you can incorporate into every aspect of your life on the way to reaching your goals. Values help you experience intrinsic motivation. Thus incorporating your values into your goals, it won't matter as much if you reach your goals or not because you will have lived by your values.
Do you remember being told growing up or now telling your kids to reach for the goal of getting good grades? But what if the focus was more on values? Let's say that your teacher or parent noticed that you liked studying for a test by collaborating with another student creating visual diagrams and researching more about the subject and they highlighted your values of being supportive, curious and creative. You might have experienced being motivated to study because you are living by your values instead of just the end product of a grade.
By reflecting on the values beneath your goals you are more apt to accomplish your New Year's resolutions. For example you want to lose an X amount of weight for the New Year. You might consider your values of self-care and perhaps adventure as motivation to exercise. If you think about how self-care and adventure will make you feel for example if you are going to the gym or on a nature hike or swimming to exercise, then you would consciously remove yourself from obstacles that might interfere with your goal attainment. If you only focus on the goal of losing an X amount of weight then you're more apt to look for obstacles like “I'm too tired to go to the gym” to prevent you from achieving your goals.
How might you find out more about what your values are? Notice what moves you or the feeling that you get from doing a task or spending time with someone. Do you feel happier when you show more love to other people, pets and even houseplants? Then maybe this is a value of being loving. Do you gravitate towards people who are authentic and that you can be authentic with then maybe you value authenticity. Also you can talk to a psychotherapist or take a values survey at www.meetingpointcounseling.com under Tools with help on reflecting on your values.
Distinguish your goals from your values and you will obtain direction, meaning and motivation for the New Year!
